Study shows correlation between eating margarine and getting divorced

Margarine is ruining marriages!

(Article by Chris Cowan republished from NotTheBee.com)

This is alarming information, to say the least, but numbers don’t lie. As you can see, the per-capita consumption of margarine has decreased at the same rate as divorces in Maine:

I knew there was something heinous about that wannabe butter knock-off!

And if that doesn’t blow your mind, check this next one out..

Is cheese sneaking up on you and killing you while you sleep?

You can’t argue with this. It’s Science™

I mean, I’m still gonna eat cheese… cause it’s cheese. But I’ll be giving it the side-eye from now on.

Here’s another fun fact that will blow your mind. Ready?

Are Nicolas Cage movies behind drownings?

For the love of all that is good, stop making movies, Nick! You’re causing people to drown themselves!

I know, you might be looking at these graphs, and you might be a little skeptical. But I assure you, all the information is completely accurate and taken from legitimate sources. As you can see, the data absolutely correlates.

Here’s one more:

The older Miss America is, the more murderous!!!

As the age of the Miss America winner increases, so do the amount of steam-related murders!

Coincidence? I think–

Well, yes. Of course it’s just a coincidence.

As I said, all of this information is verifiable and accurate. The only thing questionable about this is the fact that we’re pretending there’s any real connection, beyond the lines on the graphs kind of going up and down at the same time.

These graphs come from a fantastic website titled Spurious Correlations, which, as the name implies, features an endless list of absurd graphs that seem to indicate very surprising connections!

The website is hilarious, but it also indirectly communicates an important point: Correlation is not causation. Just because two numbers seem to be related, does not mean that they are. This is important to remember whether you’re diving into the dark depths of conspiracy theories, or when you hear a news report every other week claiming that “a new study shows there may be a link between drinking coffee and immortality!”

It’s also an example of how numbers can be manipulated by experts in a way that allows interpretations and opinions to be presented as settled scientific facts.

Not that I can think of any specific examples, because I completely trust my government and the media, and everything they tell me is correct, and even if they contradict themselves again, they’ll be correct then, too!

There might be something to that Nicholas Cage study, though…

Read more at: NotTheBee.com